Why is Christianity so hard
Why can I not shake off my bad habits/ sin
How do I go back to God
Firstly, before you read this, ask the Holy Spirit to hover over you, your thoughts and your heart. May you be transformed and be freed through Christ our Savior.
1.Why is Christianity so hard
I felt stuck in my Christianity at some point. I didn't understand why I could not crack the code and be as joyous and exuberant about my beliefs as everyone else. The Bible did not really make sense when I read it, worship somehow did not move me. I was a shell forced to go to church because what else can I do on a Sunday but I was so tired of a cycle that felt like only I was experiencing.
The cycle evolved into a nonchalance about seeking God. He was no longer a God of love, He was a God who riddled me with guilt. I would fall into sin, then into an obscene amount of guilt, repented about it and did the same thing again within a few days. It got so tiring to continue trying that I eventually gave in, “I chose myself”. The downside is I could not shake the feeling of emptiness that I was missing something, I knew it was God I was missing but how could I go back?
There's something we need to understand:
You are fighting a losing battle.
Although Jesus came, He died and defeated death (Satan, sin etc). He did not rid the world of the works of Satan, so you will see, experience and one day be a participant in death and sin. However, that is not the end, it's not that sad, we are free from death i.e the promise of life after this in heaven, and we are free from sin, meaning we don't have to do what our flesh wants. I mean this literally, you actually can say no!
The issue that I find arises for me is the lure of sin is so persistent and relentless that it makes us feel like we have no choice but to give in. Let's span back to the creation story, actually a little further into the story; the first sin, the consequence of the sin in particular:
“I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”Genesis 3:15 ESV
He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel
Here we see that the serpent will strike our heel. Imagine being constantly stung on your heel, the irritation, the pain, slows down how you walk, distracts you, makes you bleed till you decide to stop your journey way sooner than you actually should. Does this sound like something familiar? Sin. Although irritating, a blow to the heel is not fatal and but a strike to the head is fatal. Jesus threw the fatal blow when He rose from the dead to set us free, He defeated the devil.
The picture I'm creating here is one to show you that you are not acting out, you are not the 1% who is doing this wrong. We are all , struggling and trying to break the cycle day by day. The story written before you were born looked exactly like you are going through right now, so ease up, it's okay.
You are the most valuable and beautiful thing God created, you are loved, desired and chosen by God. I am not trying to coddle your sin, I am trying to speak light into your guilt and shame, because you were not made to feel emotions like that.
2. Why can I not shake off my bad habits/sin
As I mentioned last week, "good intentions do not create good habits, good actions do" (if you haven't check out last week's blog post, New Beginnings, feel free to do so). Obedience begets transformation. Say yes, even when you do not understand.
The physical manifestation of sin is the last stop of a heart that has turned away from God. So if a sin is constantly happening, check the backstory and how you end up in that situation. It could be what you think, what you say, what you watch or what you believe.
The problem our generation struggles with is we coddle our traumas. Our traumas are an easy pointer to the things that potentially lead us to sin. Our traumas beget sin. Our loneliness begets masturbation, porn addiction or fornication. Our anxiety begets drug abuse (mind you drug abuse is not doing it to death, it's doing them in excess due to a reliance on them to be able to cope with or perform a task).
Our traumas beget hate and selfishness. Our unhealthy attachment styles beget people pleasing which gives birth to dishonesty. I could go on but my point is if we nurture our traumas, we nurture impending sin.
3. How do I get back to God
You have to start believing
I don't know what to tell you, you have to believe the truths and the fact that God through Jesus has freed you from the shackles of sin. You can walk away from sin and be made new, you can do it, it's not a benefit for pastors, or the "holy" people, this benefit has been offered to us all.
“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” Ephesians 2:8 NLT
You have to believe in God (which I guess is not the biggest problem since you are here), you have to believe Jesus lived as man and God, you have to believe Jesus died for your sin and you have to believe He resurrected defeating the hold of sin over you. As Jesus resurrected you have been placed in the heavenly realms, it means you are placed in places where the devil cannot strike your heel because he was banished from the heavenly realms.
Just obey
But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams." 1 Samuel 15:22 NLT
Obey the word of God and what it says, not some of it, all of it. How do you know what to obey? You read it, you study it and you meditate on it. The Holy Spirit is our advocate, and you need to equip Him. So start a Bible Plan, join a Bible study group, start reading the New Testament (it's much easier to digest I find if you are just starting off, highly recommend the book John).
I would highly recommend considering getting baptized, I know some of you have already been baptized. However, I too got baptised again and I cannot emphasize the power it has had over my life, completely changed it. I reckon it will make you feel like you have a new start, you have been born again literally!
Lastly, to the one I wrote this for, I pray the Holy Spirit abides in you, begin the first step to abide in Him. You are beloved beyond measure and this is from the Lord, to your Heart. When the going gets tough, remember this post and read it when you need it ❤️.
Remember my Instagram dms are always open to talk! (@heavy.onjesus)
Recommended songs for The struggling Christian
Champion- Bethel Music, Dante Bowe
Wings of Love- Cole McSween
Live Again- ONE HOUSE, Kyle McHargh, Roosevelt Stewart
This is just what I needed. Thank you